- The special thing in Corona is that we have to keep the necessary distance as a precaution, not only from strangers, but also from our close ones
- There is no perfect, not even mother, but she tried to give her best
Jul 15, 2020, 12:28 pm is
Christian Robinson. Social distancing is considered the simplest way to avoid coronavirus until the vaccine is introduced. In such a situation, this epidemic has led people away from each other. Whatever the situation, a distance of at least two meters has come between us. The special thing is that we have to keep the necessary distance as a precaution not only from strangers, but also from our close ones. However, it also has some pleasant aspects of bad times. Learn how a mother-son relationship got a new way during Corona and Quarantine.
- Mother who has never been a part of our happiness
I was keeping myself away from one person long before the epidemic. She was my mother. Our relationship has always been a distance. She stayed in jail for a long time during my childhood. They are not in any picture of every party or holiday. She struggled with addiction and mental health even when not stopped and kept a distance. Me and my brother were lucky that we had grandmothers, who cared for us and were our foundation.
- The time of relationship with mother when it is felt necessary to maintain distance
While being an adult, I used to struggle on what kind of relationship I should have with my mother. I adopted distance to live and escape. My whole family made many efforts to help them, but we learned that it is very difficult to give anything to anyone, when they do not want to receive or cannot find it. The last time I heard that my mother was living in Skid Row in Los Angeles.
The Quarantine Slow Down gave me time to act and recognize that I did not have the kind of help my mother needed. I will never completely close the doors of our relationship. However, I know that I cannot allow them to come in unless they respect the dignities prepared by me. But till then for my own mental health I know that I have to keep a distance.
- There is no perfect, not even mother
I grew up loving my mother a lot after her absence. When I was 8 years old, she came out of jail and was trying to get herself along. She told me that she wants to spend the day with me and we can do whatever I want.
I chose to watch the recently released “The Lion King”. The children were talking about this film in school and I was pretending to know the plot to fit it. It was the most magical afternoon. The theater was quite beautiful. The film was followed by an exhibition stating who makes the films. For the first time in that moment it was found out that the films I love make those people who can draw, and maybe one day I can also be the one who grows up and draws and tells stories to live.
This slowdown in Quarantine gave me time to stop, move, encourage where I am and how to get here. I feel that I am stuck paying attention to the pain my mother was unable to provide. Mother is also human. People are not perfect. They give their best from their understanding.
- If I respect myself, then the part of the mother living inside me will also be respected.
Whenever I feel angry or judgmental towards my mother, I try to see them like a child. A child like me who has felt pain and lived at the mercy of the world around you. I know that the distance is not only between people, but also among people. My mother has spent her life distancing herself from her pain.
I thank my mother for being the best mother I ever knew to be. I will honor them by giving myself the love, attention and care that I wanted them to give me. By loving myself, being good with myself, honoring myself, I am also honoring their part in me. It is not about forgetting or accepting their pain, but it is about liberating myself from the pain that makes me a prisoner.
- Better get rid of memories and choose freedom
This is the part where I should tell you that forgive and don’t forget. I’m not going to do that. Instead I will ask you to cut this flower. Imagine that experience, which gave you pain. Put it somewhere else. Maybe in a wallet or pocket. This flower will break, wither, fall apart. The condition of pain and memories that captives you. May it help you on the path of independence.
(Christian Robinson is the author and illustrator of books for children.)